Sunday, July 26, 2009

Tired

Feeling good this morning...I'm still tired though dammit!

It sucks, I notice that I write a lot less when my life is happy! When I'm angry, pissed, sad...etc., I seem to write nonstop, and it always makes me feel better! I don't know why that is! Maybe cause when I'm feeling those negative feelings, I want to get them out! And when I'm happy, I want to keep them in!

With the upcoming full length, there is a lot of pressure, but I'm taking it in stride. Just the idea that I'll be able to have a full album with all my songs sounding like our demo, or better, is awesome! I'm really excited. Even if SLW goes absolutely nowhere, and I'm paying off debt to the studio for 3-4 years, I really won't care. The fact that I'll finally have a real CD with my songs is amazing!

But the CD will consist of "something for everyone", which may wind up hurting us in the long run. Generally labels (when they get involved) will try to dictate what songs are on the album, and which ones aren't. That's why, at least for one CD, I will have creative control and make the decisions. I can pursue what I've always wanted to pursue.

Honestly, this is a major dream of mine. I've pursued it twice in the past (2002 and 2004) recording 17 song full length albums, before giving it up because they sounded bad. But now, I must keep the motivation up. I can't give up! Once I go 20K in debt, with no contract signed, I'll have to push this to be the best album I could possibly imagine! So I try looking at this in a practical way: People want to be responsible, and prefer not to go 20k in debt, especially when they have an active car loan as well as an active loan, as well as minor credit debt! Honestly, I don't care! I figure that we live one time, and one time only! If I died after releasing this album, I would not care about how much debt I incurred. My music would live on after my body left this world! So is it worth it? Well, I think I answered that question...

I plan on calling the album "LUCKY", because that was the first song that started this new style. I wrote it in January 2003, and it's really the first time I wrote a pop punk song that reflected my ability to write songs from my soul. All you non-artists probably don't understand what that means. But prior to that, a lot of the shit I wrote was like textbook Blink 182. Plus, the theme of the album goes well with the message in LUCKY.

I want to take pictures for each song in the lyric book to give listeners an idea of where the song takes me when I listen to it! I want this album to be 100% worth $10 (or more of course haha!) I want people to buy it so I can pay off all the debt I will owe the studio. Then, they can buy it if the music speaks to them! Until then, we will be hitting up Hot Topics and malls on Long Island, NYC, Jersey, CT, MA, PA...as far as we can on the east coast! We need to pay back debt ASAP!

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