Sometimes I like to get carried away with my imagination. Like, what if we are all dead already, but life is like a video game that we get to play over. Not that I actually believe it, I just like to think about it. Sometimes with Deja Vu, and dreams it seems like we've already lived a moment.
So it got me thinking...What would I change if I could change one thing? What thing could I have done that would have changed the course of my life?
Well, speak of the devil...I spoke to her tonight for the first time in ages. I'm like on the final stage of letting Sarah go. As much as she's been a complete non factor in my life, my heart for her has always stayed strong, but it's slowly faded away. At this point, she becomes the last thing she can be: A person who I'll always respect.
She's doing great now. Still with her boyfriend. I figured as much, but I never know. And when I spoke about my music, she's offered to help. As a person, she looks at me with some sort of strange mutual respect. I think she still feels bad for what happened back in 07.
So what would I have changed? 2003, I would have gone for her before she met the dude she's been with for the last decade. I was 19, she was 15. Dude, I would have talked to her parents. I wouldn't give a shit. I would have been the respectable dude that just happened to be 19. Of course, we can't change time. But if I was dating her, my value of life would have been increased, I never would have joined the Navy, and I probably would have had a better path.
I just want that feeling I had when I was with her. That's all.
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