Friday night, I hung out with a girl, who the previous week, I was highly intrigued by. She's cool, but she has small things about her that may wind up turning into big things. For example, her propensity to eat out every single day, followed by her idea that the man should always pay. I don't mind taking care of a girl, trust me. But at this point, I need a woman. Someone who understands why grown ups don't eat out every single day. Eating in is WAY cheaper!
Plus, she was "selfish" in ways I shouldn't divulge on an online blog. But at the same time, it's my own personal journal, so what the hell does it matter? I mean, things went down, and she worried more about herself than me. She said it like, it was HER night, but in my mind, that's a sign of things to come. Selfish people are a major turn off for me. That mixes in with her money thing too.
She went away over the weekend, and on Friday night, I was at home working on my computer about 2am, when I got a call from my brother (who was home from Brooklyn for the weekend.) He called me to tell me he was bringing a girl home, who had a sister who thought I was hot.
So I had to get up, shower, and get ready. I threw on my game face fast. They walked in, and holy shit, this girl was smooooking! She was 5"8, but looked taller due to the way her body formed. She had long tan legs, long arms and a magical face, with exotic eyes and a perfect smile. She's 27, turning 28 in November, and when I found out she was a Scorpio, I was like "Yeah dude, me and you have no shot!"
In the past, I would have been intimidated, and fucking BOMBED this one. But it was easy. I was just myself, and I casually let myself flirt with her, and act like I wasn't interested at all. I had the whole room talking with the personality tests, and she actually answered the psychopath one wrong! At one point, I decided to get a female opinion on whether or not it's appropriate to tell a girl if she SUCKS at kissing.
Later on, she confessed "I wished you would have shown me how bad of a kisser she was."
Eventually, my brother and his girl left to get more beer. Me and this girl Laura, stayed at home, and she wanted to show me something. But it was something kind of crazy, and she was getting a second thought about it, when I said, "Dude, instead of just jumping the gun, how about we kiss first so it feels like we worked up to it?"
She could kiss! She was a fucking awesome kisser! And yo, I was mad happy, because I've been on a good streak lately of girls who know how to use those lips. Of course, I am the best kisser in the world, so the girl couldn't stop kissing me.
And for the record, I don't just assume this shit. And I don't do the retard thing, where some people will be like "Do you think I'm a good kisser?" and the girl will say "yeah!" to be nice. I find out these answers in one of the ways that HERESY is legally admitted in a court room: through an emotional, unintentional outburst! 8 times out of 10, in a moment of passion, a girl will say something, during our making out, along the lines of "Oh my God. You are a such a good kisser" or "I love the way your breath smells", or make one of those insanely passionate sighs of romance. It's really not hard to do, most people just don't know how to move their damn lips!
As the night moved on, it got to 5am. Then her mom called. Oh yeah, here's the catch. The girl has a kid. A 9 month old. At this point, the two girls had to get home and take care of the baby. But they wanted to hang out more. They said the best way to put him to sleep was to drive around. So they picked us up, to come back to their house and drink beer in their jacuzzi.
It was nice, in a spontaneous, romantic kind of way. It was funny though, that me and my brother were hanging out with two sisters in their jacuzzi and making out with them while drunk. At one point Jeremy said "Dude, we should switch!" and I laughed. Eventually, the two of them went inside, presumably to have sex. Me and Laura just chilled in the jacuzzi more, and just kept kissing/talking...etc. She had the baby monitor next to her, and eventually went inside, after we had been in the jacuzzi til about 9am.
Her baby woke up, and we struggled to stay awake playing with the child. But then I started noticing something. As I watched how she interacted with her baby, I started to see that perhaps, dating a girl with a child could be the way to fit my desire for my definition of "love": To have feelings for a girl that never feels the same way about you.
She could never love me more than her child, and rightfully so. But at the same time, it's healthy, because it's not with another man, it's with her kid. Eventually we went to sleep, and to be honest, I probably overstayed my welcome, but I was drunk and incoherent, and the girl was still kissing me with crazy passion. I figured you could read "overstayed welcomes" based on someone's body language.
But while we were sleeping in her bed, and I looked at her sleeping, it was so hard for me not to grab her and kiss her. She was gorgeous. And I just wanted to touch her, and taste every inch of her. But she was a mom, and her baby was in the room, and she wasn't sleeping because she wanted to, she was sleeping because she needed to. At one point, she got up and had to breast feed her baby. I should have been sleeping, but I just watched. (not in a perverted way, I had already seen her breasts) I was amazed at how she flipped the switch from "lover" to "mother" with no hesitation. And part of me wished I could touch her, but I couldn't. She was with her child.
Eventually, I woke up, and she drove me home. Her mom invited me back for dinner, at which point, I was able to clean up and give her a view of how good I can look when I try. It was good, but her sister had a friend named "Aurora" come over, who was pretty damn attractive. But the girl wouldn't stop staring at me. Laura was getting pissed, digging her claws in already.
I cut the night short. I was exhausted, and I had already spent an insane amount of time with this girl on the first day I met her. As I left, we kissed for like 3 minutes. It's hard leaving somebody you have so much physical chemistry with.
At this point, I don't know where to go. Now that I'm awake, and have a clear mind for the first time in an entire day, I don't know how to progress with her. I said all the drunk promises that a love-hungry man would say, and she accepted them. And when I said them, I wasn't lying, I meant them. But I'm an Aquarius, and those feelings change so fast.
I wouldn't mind chilling with her again, ever. I just don't know how to handle a mom. And I don't know what way is what.
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