Woke up early!

I was gonna jog but my knees are still a little sore from jogging a couple days ago! Even though it's freezing out, I normally bundle up pretty nice and I enjoy jogging in cold weather. It reminds me of when I had my apartment on the beach and I would jog 3 miles every other morning at 330am in the freezing cold. I mean seriously, jogging over a bridge on the beach in December/January=frozen face, but it felt sooo good!

So I'm thinking about the next steps with this band. I have 2 different legit connections to attempt to sell these songs. Then I have the other plan which is just self-releasing this album.

I guess a part of myself gets lost in this whole band thing. My ultimate goal is to make music I love. The fame is all bullshit. Because fame is fugacious, so are the fake ass friends. I feel like God is telling me to release this album by myself, and all will be gravy baby! Of course, I'm a little skeptical, but I guess over the last month I've learned to trust God anyway. Oh yeah, I'm officially out of the military! Yeah, I forgot to put that in!

It was weird too! Last Friday, I had just given up. I just said "fuck it, I'll go, I'm sick of living under fear". I was about to call my CO to let him know I would deploy. For whatever reason, I had a sudden feeling that I should wait until Monday to decide. When I least expected it, I received a certified letter Saturday with my discharge orders, that all I had to do was sign and return!

Last night when I quit the band it was kind of "spur of the moment". I've known for awhile this band lineup wouldn't work out. The "chemistry" in the band is a party atmosphere. I enjoyed it a bit at first, because it wasn't everyday, and then it became the priority. People would constantly miss practice to party, they'd all be going out, and bullshitting me about where they were. Unfortunately, I am the boss in this band, and they all treat me like that idiot boss you always call in sick on.

So in the long run, sometimes you have to start over to move 2 feet ahead. And I should just trust God, cause yo, this was the right move. I don't know what the proper NEXT correct move is, but I'm sure I'll find out soon! I told Mandrew I still want to work with him. Why? Because he was the only one who actually gave a shit. He didn't have a job, and still contributed more money than the rest of the guys. When Tim first started working he said the same shit as Mike "Oh yeah man, I have no bills, so all my money is going to the band!" A week later it became: "Dude I only make $100 a week, and my mom charges me $400 a month for rent." Chris was just a total waste in this band: the death metal guitarist playing pop punk. He is the epitome of why people hate Long Island. It bothered me that somebody had the audacity to say "go fuck yourself" to me in regards to this band. It also bothered me that every time I had something important to say, Chris wasn't there to hear it. And Mike is the reason I promised Vudu studios I would pay them 300/week. If Mike hadn't promised me 100 a week, I would have asked them to pay 250 or even 200. But now I am stuck for 2 years paying them 300 a week, unless I can sell albums ASAP! Mandrew on the other hand, always wanted to contribute, always was concerned about the future of this band. He really wasn't "party! party!" like the rest of them. He kind of came along at times, but it wasn't his priority. I respect that. And hopefully we'll be able to keep pursuing this somehow.

It's strange, 3,000 CDs feels like such a small number to me. I'm not even intimidated by the number. I say to myself "Easy task!" It's a lot of damn people though! But it's okay! I'm so confident I can push these out! I really believe there are 3,000 people or more in this world who will pay $10 for an 18 track CD of music they love! I don't even feel pressure anymore. And I'll be 26 in February! Ahhh!

So it's now 5AM, and its time for me to get ready for work! SUMMERS LAST WAVE will go on! I promise : D !