Soar across the atmosphere
with your hand in mine, I kiss your ear
and we'd blow the stars apart
with the fireworks from our heart
You say that I don't know you well
but I'd steal you with your flaws
the way that you are
I want as a part of me

Hey yeah,
it's just something you don't see
Hey yeah,
You're a stunning beauty queen
Hey yeah,
I can barely breathe
You fill my heart
and weaken my knees

-------

Dear Jenna,
I'm being called to combat overseas
and it's been so long since I believed
that you'd grow old with me
so take my words
as a man who's speaking from his grave
but a man survives this desert sand,
they're words these lips will never taste

In my life we used to be beautiful
before those chariots come for me
and my soul's at peace,

I wanna relive days
where our love was sparkling new
and dreams of a life with you
still could have come true
If my life is lost,
on my dying day,
with my dying breath,
as it fades away
I'd say "father can we please let heaven wait
let me relive my best days"

Dear Jenna,
for all you know, I speak with angels now,
your love ran dry 10 years ago,
and my love never ceased to grow
with faith, that time would somehow
piece us back one day

--------

You're so beautiful, you don't even know it
so brilliant, you don't even show it

All those needles and pills won't
kill away your pain
but it keeps killing all you are down inside

Oh, you're so cold, you're so cold
and I wanna believe there's a lost girl inside, that I can never understand
You're so cold, you're so cold
I'd swoop down and save you but you can't save what solely never stands

-------

It's too late, it's too late
all my words become the emotions I'd never say

Did you feel the world colliding when we touched?
Did you feel the world collapsing when he took my baby?

-------

Mental cleaning....

-----

Dressing in a suit and tie excites me. It makes me feel like a "real man". It makes me look attractive. When I interviewed for my job, which I was offered today, and I was walking around the office being introduced to the work space, I noticed a few attractive women do a double take when they passed me.

It made me feel better after what I wrote the other day. Maybe it's the confidence. It's being a man, being clean cut, looking good.

That being said, my libido has been dead lately. I've had no desire for women, and I'm happy about it. Maybe it's because my mom and I have gotten closer, and she seems to pay me extra attention now. If that's the case, then that's awesome.

I need to respect myself, and start over. Even if I go without sex or even making out for a year, I'm cool with that. I want an awesome girl in my life, that leads to an awesome marriage. The idea of that only scares me when it's in regards to the WRONG woman. Maybe it's time I find the right one. Maybe it's time that just like God provided AWESOME things for me every time I had faith in him, I need to have faith that God will hook me up with the right girl.

I want a woman who's a good investment of my emotional and mental, and hell, financial energy. I guess after the TERRIBLE experience with KANKLES, a girl who I SPOILED, I've been held back.

But I'm sick of that. I want the girl I'll never get sick of. I want the girl who will be my partner in crime, like Bonnie and Clyde. My best friend. My baby girl. The girl that can reject me a million times, and I'll keep coming back until she says YES.

She's out there. I just need to have faith. Kind of like I had faith through the terrible experience of losing my awesome bus route, only to lead to being hired for a job with awesome benefits and awesome career potential.

So Dear God,

Please bring me this woman whenever you are ready. I got faith that you know who she is, and she's going to blow me away!!!

-AMEN!