Whirlwind

I've done awesome since going on my diet from women. I've been in 3 situations where I was tempted to break it, and I stayed true!

Funny thing happened last night. I hung out with Heather, the girl from the end of this summer. We talked about why things ended. While I kept some of the truth reserved, I was honest about my mental process and reasoning for giving up on her.

She said "I really liked you!" and I said "I know you did...until you went away that weekend!"

Suddenly, she was on the defensive. I knew she was flirting and getting cozy with some other guy while she was away.

THAT being said, do I have a right to be pissed? Absolutely not. BUT, do I have a right to hook up with another girl, and develop feelings for another girl (which I did), ABSOLUTELY!

I didn't tell her about the other girl, not because I'm scared but because it would really hurt her, and it's an unnecessary truth. Her knowing that tidbit doesn't make her better, in fact it makes her worse.

Anyway, she kept denying it. I told her she didn't text me. She said "There was no service."

Trusting instincts is KEY to survival in this world. I knew she was full of shit on BOTH of those! Once I showed her that she did, in fact, text me while she was there, a few times (when she arrived, and when I asked her "when are you coming home") I proved one of her lies wrong. When I kept pushing the "there was another guy" fact, she kept denying, but eventually admitted (after I coerced her by saying "it's not like we were dating anyway") that there was a guy up there she thought was cute, and was flirting with, but it didn't matter cause we weren't dating.

How the fuck did I know? Am I psychic? While it's cool to boast mysterious powers, that's not the case.

I completely conjured this situation based on human nature, and human tendencies.

Let's look at the facts:

Monday -Thursday: We hung out every day. She really started liking me. We had sex on Thursday night.

Friday: She goes away for a 3 day weekend on a camp for her youth group, as a counselor. She texts me non stop on the way there, texts me one more time to tell me she got there safe and she misses me already.

Saturday: Doesn't text me all day.

Sunday morning (2am): Jeremy (my brother) brings home Laura, the hotter girl that has a crush on me.

Next 12 hours: I think Laura is awesome, don't want to be involved with Heather anymore.

Sunday 7pm: I check my phone, still no text from Heather. I feel no remorse about hooking up with Laura because I KNEW Heather was smitten with some guy upstate at the camp she was at. She went from NON STOP texting to NO texting. I sent her a text asking "when are you coming home?" because I wanted to break it off. She immediately responded "MOnday" with NO "i miss you" or any of that shit.

Monday night: Heather shows up at my door with NO phone call, home from camp. In my mind, this move had GUILT written all over it. It was "I had fun and forgot about you while I was away, but now that I'm home, I realize I have something solid and want to keep it!" I stay away from her. My body language is resistant! I say "I didn't brush my teeth so don't kiss me!" (a total BS lie if anyone knows me considering my addiction to Orbit Wintermint!)

I explained this all to her, sans the Laura part. I explained to her how I made the decision that it was time for us to end this. ESPECIALLY considering that she planning on joining the Navy. THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I would stay with a girl going through bootcamp that already proved to me she couldn't stay emotionally strong for me for ONE WEEKEND!

This is where the over-analytical trait gets annoying. I actually think all this shit. But in the end, it lead me to make an extremely wise decision, one that would have avoided heartache had we continued this rendezvous.

She's a Gemini and attempts to be analytical, which she is. It's probably why I allowed myself to hang out with her. But as the Zodiac says, she becomes my submissive. I over power her easily mentally. She wanted me to kiss her, and then we had a 15 minute debate with me explaining why I wouldn't kiss her.

It basically went like this:

Heather: "Kiss me"

Freddy: "No! I'm on a woman diet!"

Heather: "It's just going to be a kiss!"

Freddy: "No it won't! It'll lead to something more! You're a fucking nympho dude!"

Heather: "No it won't! I'm not in the mood for sex, I won't let it happen!"

Freddy: "Bullshit"

Heather: "Umm, I really won't! I don't want to have sex right now! Any other night, maybe..."

Freddy: "Dude, okay, let me explain something to you. You're a WOMAN. You only go with the feeling that you feel RIGHT NOW! Right now you don't want to have sex! But after we kiss, my magic kisses will send sparks through you and you will change your mind!"

Heather: "Your magic kisses? Haha!"

Freddy: "See? The fact that you focused on that statement alone instead of denying what I just insinuated shows your true intent!"

Heather: (silence)

Freddy: "Good comeback!"

Except it went on for another 10 minutes with me delineating how it would all unfold.

She was a good kisser, and that made it more difficult for me to resist. But I must focus! I MUST BE STRONG!

And with Heather back in the equation, serendipitously, so is Laura! She's been texting me a LOT the last week, saying she was thinking of swinging by.

The man part of me doesn't want to resist, but for once, my mentality is overpowering my emotional and physical desires. Repairing relations with my mother has made this a lot easier.

I'm looking at all hook ups with girls who I don't have feelings for as "swapping spit". Looking at it that way grosses me out, despite it's 12 year old maturity level connotations! But there's nothing romantic about that! Easy day, no way!