I'm tired of sitting inside, behind the computer, promoting our music through AIM, Twitter, Myspace...blah, blah, blah. If it wasn't for this shit, I'd be out meeting people, playing shows, having a good time. I'm sick of recording. I've recorded like 1,000 hours this year, and I want it to be over. I just want to get back to playing shows, and feeling like a fucking rockstar.
I feel like it's the part inside of me that isn't coming out. The fucking dude who's a rockstar. Seriously, I miss tearing up stages, schmoozing it up with the chicas, singing, making friends...etc. I miss being the one everyone is fucking looking at. I'm ready to get out there and change the fucking scene. Break all fads, break all cliques, and bring people together.
It gets tiring when you question WHY you're doing this. It's another Saturday night at home, and I just pissed off my best friend, and she's probably never talking to me anymore. Who knows where my band mates are, we never hang out anyway. This is the type of shit that usually makes me want to sit down and feel bad for myself. But fuck it. I don't need friends. I don't need anybody. I can make this shit happen myself, and then make new, shallower friends.
People find that so offensive when I say that. I don't understand why. It's truth. Everyone is shallow inside. Nobody was ever friends with me for ME. It always had something to do with music. So what's wrong with me just saying it for what it is?
I honestly can't wait to play ORIGINAL while opening up for one of these scenester, shitty, dime a dozen bands.
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