I take the word "friend" with a grain of salt

I was angry about this earlier, but at this point, maybe not anymore. I don't take having "friends" seriously. I gotta start dividing things to where they belong: hook-ups/business relationships, the end.

The whole concept of "listening/helping out someone" is something that I will do only when it's business-convenient. I used to be sad when friends "screwed me over", but at this point, it's no surprise to me. Now I just have to attempt to surreptitiously use somebody without exposing how fucking pissed I am at them for being a backstabbing scumbag. I mean lets be honest, they have a major connection that I still don't, and I have yet to utilize.

This goes out to my friend Giselle. Basically, she was mad that her brother, who WAS also a good friend of mine, heard that we had had sex in the past. I accidentally said it, but feeling bad, I told Giselle the next day. I apologized. Apparently, he told her today and said it in a worse context.

The problem is, he's in a band called Lights Resolve. I supported them cause he was in it, and he was my friend. And since I'm being completely honest here, that was the only reason I ever supported them. I wasn't considering connections or anything of the sort, because when I first started going to their shows, I wasn't doing the band thing. They aren't bad, but they aren't great either. I mean, they're okay. But they've been touring/playing for awhile, and have publishing deals...etc.

So at this point, do I punch the kid in the face for being a backstabber and lying about what I said. He told her I said in front of his entire band "Yo I banged Giselle twice" which was a blatant fucking lie. And he's a piece of shit for telling it to her. And her mom, and her mom's friend are all lying about bullshit, and this girl is going...ugh I don't even know where I'm going with this. I gotta pull the old Freddyboy Z-cut and forget move.

Part of me is hurt, cause she is a fucking fool to believe these assholes. I dared her to get all three of them in a room and have me sit down and talk with them in front of her. I'll expose all their fucking lies. Of course, she didn't take me up on this offer. Personally, I'm more disappointed in myself that I let her get anywhere close enough to where I could get a little hurt by this. Reality is, I don't do that with anyone. It may be why I'm such an open book. Since I have 0 real friends, I don't have anyone to tell my "secrets" so my secrets become my talking points.

So from this point out, she's going to be living a sad life, with the same family that's cut her down, treated her like shit, and spiraled heavy drug use from both of their children. I don't know how parents like that sleep at night, but whatever. It's not my problem anymore. They're both dead to me. And I'm going to burn this bridge with that piece of shit without telling him. Mainly so there is no vendetta, but in the back of my mind, I do not want to ever utilize this connection with him to get us ahead, because I want to look down at him from the top and laugh when I can say "hey shit head, I did it on my own! Have fun getting up here!"

I'm so filled with anger lately. I need this to inspire either a song, or fuel for this band.
Or this can all never work...like I'll go nowhere. Then what? Then who the fuck cares anyway?