Thursday, August 13, 2009

Trying to stay upset

I'm trying to get in the mood of "Make or Break It". It's a song of mine that requires me to nail the emotions I'm feeling in the lyrics if I want it to be effective. The music is already great. It honestly feels like something I'm listening to on the radio, more so than any of our other songs. This album may wind up being "too good".

I'm upset because of the lyrics in the song. I just don't understand it. The lyrics are like my soul in a song. It's so painful. I Maybe I never really realized that straight up, this girl broke my heart. I always looked at it as "I'll always love Sarah," and now, being 2 years later, it doesn't look like she'll be done with her dude anytime soon. It's hard to let it go.

It just makes me feel so alone. It's rare to find someone that brings this out in me. At this point, I feel like I keep myself isolated from the rest of the world in order to make my music better. Maybe I'm scared to fall in love again so much that I don't want to meet anyone new at all. While yes, heartbreak has been my biggest inspiration in pencilling my best songs, I feel like it's been battered too much.

I guess I'm a human being and there really is only so much I can take. I'm just at a point in my life where the only thing that matters to me is getting music going. And all I'm doing is holding onto something from 2 years ago. Because I promised I would always love the girl.

It makes me feel shitty yo. 10 million people in America are going to be listening to this song and sharing this feeling with me, and it's only going to make me feel more alone. This song will be out of my control. It won't be like my kid anymore. It will be it's own.

Fuck fame. Fuck being famous. I wish I could just write songs and live in a jungle with fruit so I didn't have to pay bills LOL

No comments:

Post a Comment